My oldest, age 12, has decided there is an invisible building next to ours ala Grimauld Place. Her logic is pretty convincing...
The house next door to us has been for sale for.. well forever.
We have an absurdly wide driveway that does a very minuscule s turn for no apparent reason other than to make navigating it backwards awkward.
Our street is numbered wring. We are 444 but the house for sale is 440 and there is no 442 on the GPS system either.
Whenever you walk over there you are suddenly struck with the need to urgently run back into the house for something you forgot or to use the bathroom. (this has been proven repeatedly)
She believes it has been made invisible to Muggles, un-plotable, and like in World Cup Book 4 whenever a Muggle gets close enough to see it they are suddenly reminded of urgent plans in the other direction.
Post A Comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend | Link
Big Daughter was all "I'm a little bummed" and Little Daughter was all "Uh! I have a little bum, too!" and we all pointed and laughed and mocked her to her face but then Big Daughter was like "Does that mean being bummed translates weird over there and does that have anything to do with them saying they can't be arsed to do something" LOL
*fail at being British but we are pretty cute anyway*
Post A Comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend | Link
 |
|
My daughters Mary Sue of Sarah Plain and Tall...
Sydney Short and Odd
By Sydney Li ~
My mother is single and in need of a man. She is not strong enough to take out the trash every morning or unclog the sink when it’s clogged. I get to do it. My Mother works as a lawyer. (no weight lifting involved). Our family of three lives in Florida. Our family involves me (Henry), my sister Liza, and my mom Christine.
My mom gets a lot off of Craigslist. Craigslist is a place on the internet where you can trade things with people everywhere. Once, my mom got a turtle off Craigslist. We named it Billy Bob Joe Sue Anne. So one day mother got on her laptop and put out an add asking for a husband. The next day someone replied! It said:
Dear Christine,
I am a man.
Signed Luke
This was not a real pleaser to mom. Another read:
Dear Christine,
I don’t no how to unclog a tolet but I think I’m owsome.
Signed Avery
There were a lot of spelling errors in that one. One said:
Dear Christine,
I’ve been married four times so I have a lot of experience in being a husband.
Signed Martin
Mom was losing her patience. She was about to take down the ad and admit defeat when one last entry popped up. It read:
Dear Christine,
I am an engineer. I play all sorts of sports. I can fix toilets, sinks, door hinges, laptops, and can even open pickle jars. I am willing to take out the trash and will eat anything. If you don’t want to cook I can BBQ. I am a really nice person. I am also willing to move.
Sincerely,
Sydney
Ps. I’m kind of short…
Mom was super excited about this letter. She immediately sent an email back saying we would love to meet him on a trial basis. Three days later there was a knock at the door. I raced Liza to the door hoping for it to be Sydney. Instead a woman was at the door; a little short and a little odd. Odd as in blue hair, tank top, long skirt and rubber chicken earrings. I assumed it was one of mom’s clients. She stepped inside and shook my hand confidently. “Hi,” she said. “I’m Sydney.” Mom sprinted in and stopped, star struck. “You’re Sydney?” Mom questioned. Sydney nodded her head in reply. “I thought Sydney was a boy name,” Liza protested, as if that would change anything. “Well, that maybe how it is here but I am a girl, short and odd,” Sydney said happily. Mom said “Ok … then it’s nice to meet you, Sydney. It’s just when we advertised for a husband we were expecting a male.” “That’s ok,” said Sydney merrily. “Not meaning to be rude, but can I leave this chat and drop off my stuff in my room?” “Why of course!” Mom replied. Mom was little appalled but later on I found out that Sydney was more than she seemed.
After that Sydney dropped off her stuff in my room (because we were supposed to be able to bond, man-to-man). We went to the turtle’s tank. Sydney loved his name. All day long she kept saying Billy Bob Joe Sue Anne. Me, mom and Liza thought this was very funny. Saturday was best though. Me and Liza speedy fast did our chores because Mom said we could go swim in the ocean. Sydney had never been in the ocean. Mom made me dust our special seashells four times because I didn’t live up to her standards. I liked Sydney already because she took out the trash for me. When we finally go to the beach Sydney brought one of those gigantic suitcases that me and Liza had spent all night wondering about. Mathew and Martha, our neighbors, went swimming also. They are still married. They brought fish for Billy Bob Joe Sue Anne to play with. Sydney opened her suitcase and inside was a ball and net. Mom, Liza and Martha went swimming and Mathew, Sydney and I played volleyball. I had only ever seen teenagers play because we don’t have a ball or net and Liza and Mom don’t play it. So really I’ve never played. They taught me how to play. We had so much fun. After we got tired we watched the crabs. Sydney pretended to fight some and Mathew and me laughed until we couldn’t laugh anymore. At the end of the day Sydney BBQ’d. I’ve only had it once. Mom says it’s too dangerous to start a fire.
Everything about Sydney is great. She even taught me and Liza how to fix a tire. On the day Sydney was supposed to go home she gave Liza a wrench and me a volleyball. Liza cried. She liked Sydney and didn’t want her to go home. I pretended to go to the restroom so Sydney wouldn’t see me cry. Mom kneeled next to Liza and said “Sydney doesn’t have to go home. I’ve decided she can stay … if she wants to.” Sydney jumped up and down shouting “Yes, of course! I’ll just unpack again!” That’s how we got Sydney, short and odd.
1 Comment | Post A Comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend | Link
Yesterday we watched The Music Man and today everything we say ends in "Ye Gods!"
LOL *we're a musical people*
We are re-tiling the kitchen floors today and we had to remove the baseboards. Underneath is this horrendous navy blue wallpaper with tiny repetitive yellow flowers. My nine year old, Sydney Li, says "Can you imagine the whole room done in this pattern? I would be like the woman in "The Yellow Wallpaper"!
*squishes child geniuses who make literary references*
2 Comments | Post A Comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend | Link
If you squint really hard you will see me and my niece Vy on the New Moon premiere video footage on Channel 5. It has apparently been running all day. I'm the one in the green jacket directly behind the beautiful smiling Asian girl (Vy) at about 50 seconds or so. http://www.ksdk.com/video/default.aspx?bctid=51587760001 Does this count as my 15 minutes of fame? 'Cause I kinda wanted something more notorious...
Post A Comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend | Link
 |
|
I went with my middle child, Sydney Li, and her fourth grade class to see the Czechoslovakian children's opera "Brundibar". A few things happen worth mentioning.
First and most importantly to me: My girl tried so hard not to cry. I swear she was the only child in the audience paying attention and she was already familiar with some WWII history so she was close to tears the whole time. But at the end, the children sing a song as a chorus and one by one remove their shoes and walk off stage leaving one small child sining surrounded by empty shoes... well hand out the Kleenex 'cause we were both mess. Then a Holocaust survivor (and sister of the plays author) came out and she talked about how she played the cat 56 times before there weren't enough children left alive to put the show on, and how out of 1,500 children only 100 made it out alive... and how her friend was the author of the poem "butterfly" in "I never saw another butterfly". God. It was so much to handle. The kids in the audience pretty much shut down but the ones on stage were in tears to. It was beautiful. She said it made her glad to see it put on because it reminds her that others will remember when there are no survivors alive anymore...
Secondly hits a little closer to home. Our bus driver was insane. He zoomed down these steep hills and stopped short at every light and tried to whip a U in a culdesac and Dude were a yellow school bus! We can't make that! But when we tried to leave the event another school teacher from another school said he was reporting him for reckless driving in a parking lot crowded with kids and our teacher gave me this look that just screamed "Don't provoke the crazy man behind the wheel!"
Third is completely random but makes me incredibly happy I decided not to teach the younger crowd. I heard this conversation on the bus behind me:
Boy #2: My Daddy will beat you up for sayin' that!
Boy #1: My Daddy's bigger than your Daddy! And my mama's got a six pack!
Boy #2; Oh yeah? Well my uncle weighs 186 lbs and he's got a D-U-I!
2 Comments | Post A Comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend | Link
I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
I do know better.
Its not my fault.
They are making me.
She's family.
I'm a sucker for family.
She bought it with her own money and she's not allowed to drive at night so really I have no choice in the matter.
I'm sorry.
Yes, I will be in attendance at the New Moon Midnight Premiere.
I can't tell you how sorry I am.
6 Comments | Post A Comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend | Link
 |
|
Reminder to self:
A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.
Comparison is the thief of joy.
You're braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think.
... and other beautiful cliches ...
This week I took three tests. I studied my butt off. But its the semester from hell so the test I thought I did best on was my worst grade and the test I feared I failed came in with an A. Which one do you think I am focused on?
Traditional Grammar 21.5/30
English Grammar 82/100
Linguistics 90/100
A, B, and C all in one week. My nerves can't take this much longer.
Trad Gram is a do or die class now. I must get a C to continue on as planned and student teach next semester. (Why is this so hard for me??? I want to teach English!) Turns out its a point scale, not percentages like most classes. I need 200 pts to get an A. Not even an option.
The the highest I can get (factoring in my other grades up to this point) is a 164.8 (B-) if I get 100% on both the next test and the final. Not gonna happen.
The lowest I can get is a 146 (C) which would mean I have 61.2 points left to achieve this goal. If I get a 21/30 on the next test (which is my dreadful average up to this point) I will need to get a 40.2/50 on the final to simply pass.
Oh God.
Pass the carving knife.
Post A Comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend | Link
|
|
Ok so I know its pc to respect people after thier deaths and that some people make an exception in Micheal Jacksons case because of his allegded predilections. This has nothing to do with that. Put those feelings aside so I can tell you a funny story!
My hubby is Vietnamese. This is important for you to know because
a) this happened in a really funny accent and
b) he is the worlds biggest Micheal Jackson fan and he attributes this to an "asian love for all things cool" and apparently 20 years behind...
c)he got a bootleg copy of This is It because we have to LIVE the stereotype
d) our tv is hooked up to two sets of surround sound speakers and a set of huge car speakers
He blares this every DVD every morning because he is trying to get in some work before work and it makes him happy. (The neighbors are gonna call the police someday but not yet. I think they fear looking racially motivated lol)
This morning Vang was singing along to some song which if you heard it you would recognize immediately because you have probably heard it more times than you can count and yet not know a word to because he sings really fast and sort of blurry.
My hubby is singing "Daddy wants a Moochie, wants a Moochie, wants a Moochie right now!"
This is double hilarious because Moochie is the way he says Smootie... so he thinks Micheal Jackson was seriously craving a Smoothie that day? ROFLMAO
Post A Comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend | Link
I know I fell into the facebook and I'm sorry but there is a group there called "OMG we were talking about Harry Potter not you" and I have no idea what that is but the title is brilliant.
Post A Comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend | Link
I live in a special world. Odd things happen here. Its not always pleasant.
Teacher: *reading poetry*
Teacher: I think thats the only reason women stay with us. Cause sometimes we smell good... sometimes.
Every female in the class: LOL
The creepy old guy who burps too loud and once cut his toenails in class: overheard "At Renaissance fairs the ladies always ask me 'Why do the men here always smell so good?' 'Cause I rub special liniments and oils all over my body."
Me: *dies*
Post A Comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend | Link
|
|
Last night we went to a library author’s event for Dave Barry and Ridley Pearson. Both are famous in their own right, but they have now released Peter and the Sword of Mercy, the latest in their Starcatchers series. It. Was. Amazing. They were so friendly and personable! They obviously had been doing this for a while so they had some of their bits down pat but they also cracked each other up and seemed to really be having fun. They told the best stories and I had the kids make me a list because I was afraid I would forget it all. This is what we came up with. They are sadly lacking in the real humor of the night and so amazingly out of order but I don’t wanna forget them… Its turning into a pretty long post so I’ll try to cut twice, once for author type details and once for the family stuff. Then you can read what you like and skip the rest I guess…
( Dave Barry and Ridley Pearson Live )
( Little family bits of the evening )
( Mama FTW )
I love that my kids are readers. I love that they love stuff like this with me. I love that I am exposed to great books through their reading as much as I expose them to mine.
This was one of those days you put in the memories forever.
Since my memory is pretty faulty I put it in Livejournal.
*hugs*
12 Comments | Post A Comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend | Link
I also forgot to tell you what made the Grammar Tree Diagramming bearable! Every time we come across a sentence that does not begin with a noun phrase we have to write a little (e) symbol to hold the place in the tree because all trees end up built of a verb phrase and a noun phrase. So like one sentence said "Swiftly grabbing the microphone, Kanye interrupted Taylor." So it started with an (e) ...
So every time I got to write down empty noun phrase I would hear in my head "Are you my mummy?" and ... creep myself out a little. My study group started to think I had lost my mind...
Its the little things that get us through the day. LOL
Post A Comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend | Link
Class gets canceled but I am already at school...
Do I stay and study or go home and try to resist bejeweled...
Decisions decisions...
I decide to go home but agree to feel really guilty about it. *makes wise choices*
What should be on the radio when I get in the car but the final lines of Bon Jovi's "Who says you can't go home" ....
"there's only one place left I want to go
Who Says You Can't Go Home
It's alright, it's alright, it's alright, it's alright, it's alright"
ROFLMAO!
Talk about a sign!
2 Comments | Post A Comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend | Link
|
|
These ideas are so bad that I would talk me out of it if I were you...
1. Traditional Grammar Blows.
I could have taken a placement test and skipped Traditional Grammar before this semester started. I took one look at the practice test knew I couldn't do it and signed up. HOWEVER.. its now 3/4 of the way through. I am tenuously holding a C in the class but the practice test now looks like a preschool exam...I am considering taking the exam NOW and then having that backup in case I fail the class. It wouldn't do my GPA any good but at least I will have a safety net. This is where you remind me that people with safety nets aren't careful enough because they know its ok to fall. You also might mention the extra work of preparing for that test on top of everything else on my plate right now...
2. I want to sign up for next semester before all the good classes are taken.
I want to go ahead and sign up for all the classes I will take as if I am going to breeze through the rest of this semester in tact. I do not want to hold a place in any of the classes I am currently taking as if I am going to fail. It seems like a bad idea to prepare for failure, ya know? HOWEVER, you may point out, that classes can be hard to get into and if I don't schedule those classes I am taking now and wait until I have absolutely failed out of them than the spaces may be filled and I will be unable to take them next semester and have to push back graduation AN ENTIRE YEAR. I fear this greatly...
I used my good mama icon. Somebody mother-worry over this with me. Fuss!
2 Comments | Post A Comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend | Link
Can't study any longer. Must sleep...
*keyboard smash deleted*
Post A Comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend | Link
Update: two counters in! One sink, one counter to go.
Hubby says run out get burgers, skip the soda.
I fgure, sure we're at home soda's at home, no sodas.
He forgets to mention its cause he's gonna turn off the water and there will be no toilet using...
*does a special dance*
Would have been nice to know!
Post A Comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend | Link
My kitchen sink is now sitting in my front yard.
Its decorative.
Wonder what the neighbors think...?
"Oh great! They finally went all the way white trash!"
LOL
2 Comments | Post A Comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend | Link
http://showhype.com/video/adam-lambert-for-your-entertainment-full-song/
I know I am a little messed in the head but am I the only one who thinks Adam Lambert's new song "For Your entertainment" is all about Date Rape? *hates hates hates*
2 Comments | Post A Comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend | Link
On the one hand I am having grammar related chest pains due to lack of understanding and empty effort thrown at constant study...
n the other hand I have helped install one beautiful 24 ft counter top! We have one L shaped one to go but brother in law showed up so I am relieved of duty and sent to study... somehow that landed me on LJ...
*off to study*
Post A Comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend | Link
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}